Too little, too late...

I should have been at the airport, waiting to go to NO, at this exact time. We would have been together in a few short hours. But Katrina really blew out all of my dreams & hopes. He is already in Houston—a little too late for the little badly-needed vacation I was going to suggest beforehand. I asked if he'd like a visitor but he said it would be too inconvenient, what with him going to be doing alot of traveling on business, trying to get all his ducks in a row, etc. & that it will be at least 3-6 months before he's able to resume life in Nawlins. I asked him flat out if he wants me to come out at all. He said yes, but down the road. Down the road we could both be dead, too, for chrissake...

Now, I would think it wouldn't be TOO inconvenient to have a visitor, say, over a weekend. What the hell involves a weekend?!? I think I'm going to call back later, say relationships are two-way streets, even if one's life has been turned upside down, & you have to make time for each other, even if it does involve inconvenience... I've been inconvenienced many times, but have always made time. I know I shouldn't push him. But I cannot go on with my plans until I have concrete answers to very difficult questions it might be difficult for him to answer. A commitment on a date to get together would be awfully nice...

Nawlins is 'decimated' so...

Tommy's going to Houston to work at their corporate headquarters, but not immediately—still has lots & lots to do around the house, which thankfully was spared damage (perhaps, in part, to the half an kazillion 'Hail Marys' I said, on bended knees), save for lots of downed trees on the property. Said downtown NO is decimated & that it will be a long, long time before anyone goes to work there again. Thus, Houston...

Next time we talk (hopefully today—he said it's very hard to get through, which I know for a fact because I keep getting an 'all circuits are busy' recording most times I try to call there), I'm going to suggest we go somewhere low-key & just hang out before he goes—to relax & de-stress. Heal. We've both been through hell in the past couple of weeks for similar but different reasons, but hell nonetheless. I'm going to tell him flat out that the only thing I want is to just be together, that we really need to see each other. Frankly, (although my visions of our first reunion involved non-stop sex) I'd be happy just to lie in bed & hold each other. A non-stop, whole-body hug, so to speak. I think we both need that—it's good for the soul.

Yet, he is still incredibly hung up on age. In one of our first conversations he said 'Sweetheart, I'm 60 years old! 60!' I said 'Well, I ain't all that far behind you, big guy—nobody here is 23 anymore.' He seems to think I won't find him attractive because he's not what he was when we first met. Hello! Who is! Yeah, I still look real good, but I'm not the kid he remembers. I've told him numerous times it was the person, not the pro football player or drop dead gorgeous guy, I fell in love with. We had that whole 'soulmate' connection thing going on from the moment our eyes met—left together after we'd been acquainted for about 1 whole hour & were rarely apart after, until he had to go. Being together was so easy—never an awkward 'what should I do, what will he/she think' moment. And that connection still seems to be there, even after all these years—at least on an emotional plane. I believe in soulmates...