Two loves...

It's been a long time since I've posted, & a lot has happened in the interim. George paved the way for me to open myself to men other than Tommy — & out of the blue, along comes Bob — a former Virginia Tech quarterback, now NFL scout, who came into my life like a hurricane & seems perfect in every way: romantic, sensitive, thoughtful, caring. Says he's playing for keeps.

On this note, I sent Tommy a really lovely email saying "Well, your wish has come true, in part anyway — that I go away. There comes a time when a person can no longer be the only one giving, can no longer beg & grovel, can no longer take the emotional & verbal abuse. Though I will always love you, I really don't like you very much anymore. Having decided, the day after you said you didn't need or want me, that I had to move on, I have indeed done just that. I am with someone else now, & it's serious. Please don't close yourself off to love, as I believe you're doing. There is nothing more wonderful, magical, precious. But it has to go both ways, & you just aren't willing to give unless it's convenient. Don't live the rest of your life alone. Open your heart — allow yourself to be happy. Go find love & be true to it. We only go around once, after all... I am still here for you, despite everything. And that, Tommy, is love — pure & true. Unconditional..."

He left a message on my voicemail the very next day & — on the surface, anyway — seems to have taken my words to heart. Aside from some initial sarcastic remarks about 'lover boy,' he said he just wants me to be happy. Talk about having your mind blown... Well, this one will have to play out in its own time. I don't know which direction to go, but I'm sure Fate & my heart will figure it out eventually. I'm not in a desperate hurry — need to make sure I make the right decision, for I will have to live with it for a long, long time...