Love, & a broken hip, hurt...

My hip, broken on 11/30 & then set back by a dislocation 2 weeks later, is well on the mend, though there is still much I can't do & have a constant, nagging pain. The pills I'm on make me sleepy all the time & I have no energy whatsoever. I come home from work mid-afternoon, sleep for a couple of hours, then complete my work day from home. Where I used to stay up half the night on the net, I'm now usually sound asleep by 10 or 11. The whole thing sucks big time.

Then there's Tommy, who really hasn't done anything lately other than not return a call we were on. He either hung up or were disconnected (we weren't arguing), but I think he hung up because someone walked in blasting their big mouth & I told her to shut up & go away. So naturally I called him back half a dozen times (he didn't answer) & left God-knows what kind of messages. I must learn to control my temper as I think it's one of the things that's driving him away. However, my heart is broken because I was going to 'call' him on his promise of a weekend together when my hip healed. And since I now have the doc's permission to both travel & have sex, we could have our weekend any time. However, since I have once again behaved very badly, I don't know how willing he will be. Although I want to call him every moment of the day, I'll resist for at least another week — give him time to cool off, or wait until when/if he calls me...if it isn't too long...

It's just not looking very good at the moment, but as one of my commenters to a previous post said, once we're together again he'll remember all the good things & put our tumultuous recent past to rest. It's the getting together that's the tough part, even though it should be the easiest. Please, God, let her be right!!!

Happy fuckin' new year...

So far it feels just the same as '05. It's damp & dreary & I am so fucking depressed I don't care if I wake up tomorrow or not...

At least my hip doesn't hurt...a blessing of sorts...& I am most thankful because when I went searching for my Percocet every last one was gone — taken by my neighbor who came over for a couple of drinks last night (after my being nice enough to give him 4 to ease the pain of his displaced shoulder). He also left me with 3 out of 20 or so Xanax, which is my life line. To say I'm pissed is a major understatement...