Softening, somewhat...& it's a good thing...
It's better than nothing at all—he still isn't calling me 'sweetheart' any more & I am no longer telling him I love him every 30 seconds—but his voice is kinder, more gentle...even caring... I'm hearing the pre-hurricanes Tommy—the Tommy who unabashedly adored me...
We've talked for several hours during the past two weeks—he is not upset that I am living in his town of Mandeville. In the meantime, he has agreed that even though his clients are coming back in droves (after Katrina & Rita) & he'll be bouncing back & forth between New Orleans & Houston, we will—indeed—still have weekends. Now it's just nailing him down to one.
God, that's all we need. One weekend. A weekend totally alone—to drink & talk & make love... He is afraid—I know this for a fact, even though he has not actually come out & admitted it. But it's there—I hear it in various comments he makes. I'm afraid too. But love, if it's true, accepts, forgives, and overlooks physical imperfections and emotional defects. I still think he doesn't want to fall in love, doesn't want to lose his freedom, doesn't want his life complicated by (again) having a partner—particularly one who he said has been one of the great loves of his life... He knows we would pick right back up where we left off & his life would change drastically. But it would be richer, by far, because of the very special love we've somehow never lost...
We've talked for several hours during the past two weeks—he is not upset that I am living in his town of Mandeville. In the meantime, he has agreed that even though his clients are coming back in droves (after Katrina & Rita) & he'll be bouncing back & forth between New Orleans & Houston, we will—indeed—still have weekends. Now it's just nailing him down to one.
God, that's all we need. One weekend. A weekend totally alone—to drink & talk & make love... He is afraid—I know this for a fact, even though he has not actually come out & admitted it. But it's there—I hear it in various comments he makes. I'm afraid too. But love, if it's true, accepts, forgives, and overlooks physical imperfections and emotional defects. I still think he doesn't want to fall in love, doesn't want to lose his freedom, doesn't want his life complicated by (again) having a partner—particularly one who he said has been one of the great loves of his life... He knows we would pick right back up where we left off & his life would change drastically. But it would be richer, by far, because of the very special love we've somehow never lost...
posted by UptownGrrl at 7:16 PM
1 Comments:
you remind me of my own relationship. he seems to be falling out of love with me. i hope it doesnt happen to you. one weekend, thats all we ask. one weekend.
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