Epiphany: origins of a soap opera revealed...

I watch too many chick flicks. That's it, plain & simple.

Tommy & I have not been on the same page, here. Since reuniting, I have clearly been living in a movie: star-crossed lovers reunite, fall madly in love again & live happily ever after. He has said some pretty heavy stuff, though, which propelled my expectations right up there to the Notting Hill / Sleepless in Seattle realm. These heady, romantic musings happen in our late-night conversations when he most likely has been drinking beforehand & is loose enough to be swept away by feelings carried over from our previous relationship, too. I chose to take his words as gospel.

But, unlike me, in the light of day he apparently comes back down to earth. In reality, he wants to get together & see if the sparks still fly, take it from there. This is what he said—in part—Thursday morning, after our emotional discussion the night before. I cried all day. After having a couple of days to digest this take on reality I'd been so blind to, I now feel like a perfect asshole for pushing him so hard, so fast, toward a fairy tale ending. After my recent inexcusable behavior, I'll be lucky if I haven't pushed him away forever—& if I have, have no one to blame but myself...