Soul-searching is very scary...

A night of (near) sleeplessness has produced the following conclusions:

Men have always been intimidated by my looks, intelligence, & brashness.
I push lovers to the limit.
I don't think of consequences before hitting the 'send' button.
I love too quick, too hard, too much.
I'm too much about instant gratification.
I somehow manage to fuck up things otherwise written in stone because...
        I'm afraid of love?
I'm way too 'up front.'
I'm scheming & manipulative.
I drink too much. Always have.
I've been alternately anorexic/bullemic since high school.
I've scooted through life on my looks & am terrified of aging.
At this point, my looks are all 'smoke & mirrors.'
I am, obviously, hating myself pretty much right now—
But I am a good person & the best friend anyone could ever hope to have.